That being a single parent is tough. It is exhausting, scary and relentless. I know there are different challenges with parenting with a partner. But being single means it all lies on you.. the bills, the parenting, the pressure. Finding the balance between the career that makes the mortgage payment and the child that has only one parent. There is no decision by committee. And any failures are mine alone. And because I chose to do this, I have no one to blame but myself. That is the hard part.
But the good part, the amazing part, is this little girl that you love more than any thing on earth. It’s tickling in bed, building castles out of blocks, dancing in our pajamas. It is the “my mommy’s here” you hear at the end of a rough day. It is teaching and learning. Adding a whole new dimension to your life you never knew existed, like transitioning to color after living in black and white.
Today is one of those great days that you dream of when you are waiting for your child. I was up early, too conjested to sleep. After debating wether to get up knowing Dori would wake up earlier if I got up, I started some laundry. About 6:30 I heard Dori stirring and then a cheerful “I awake”. There she was smiley, alert looking for me to start the day. By 8 am we had a ballet recital, built a castle, colored and cutout butterflies, changed a baby doll and, of course, ate breakfast. I know that if Dori was not there I would have slept in. But how much life would I have missed.
So the reality is… this is tough, but this is so worth it.