I Don’t Know Why

Dori picked an adoption book for me to read tonight. It is for an older child so I was paraphrasing the contents. We got on the subject of her Ethiopian mother. I have talked about her Ethiopian mother before but she has never paid much attention. This time she did.

Why? Is what she asked when I told her her first mom could not take care of her. Why did she have no home? Why did she not go to the bank? God says that is what we do ( A little confusion on the theology but I think her point is God provides). And – this is the killer -Does she want to see me?  She had tears in her eyes. I told her it was OK to be sad. It makes me sad too.  It was a quick and intense conversation and I redirected her pretty fast.  Not because  I don’t want her to know about or think about these things. Honestly because though I have thought about it read about and prepared for this- I just could not find the right words. There are just no good answers. I have little information to pass on and she is too little to comprehend that going to the bank to get money to buy food is not an option – isn’t she? Should I say more or less? I do not want to over or under protect her.  Ugh!

I know the questions will only get harder. I am adult and I wrestle with them.

I left Dori with this – God can take something very, very sad and use to make something beautiful, like our family. I am Dori’s forever and ever mommy, that is what adopted means. I will not leave her. I said it because that is what she needed to hear. She relaxed after that and went on to another book. Anybody else have this conversation with their three year old?


About Beth

I am Jesus lover and single mom.
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2 Responses to I Don’t Know Why

  1. Sunday says:

    Wow…scares me to know that this conversation is only a few years away for me. 🙂 That is a TOUGH one! It sure sounds like you did an awesome job, Beth. I think keeping it short and just assuring her of your unending love is the best for her age. Wow…gives me something to think about too. Do you recommend any good books or reading on this subject? I’d love to start preparing too.

  2. MaliasMama says:

    I am having them regularly… not as deep yet, maybe 3 will be the magic number, so I have a few months yet!

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