Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love the spirit and the joy associated with celebrating my Savior’s birth. For me it is especially magical. Three years ago I passed court on November 30. I left San Diego for Ethiopia December 23. And I held my tiny baby for the first time December 25. Although our family day gets lost in the bustle of Christmas, stored in my heart is that first Christmas with Dori. I don’t ever forget it.
This year is tough. My heart is in one place and circumstances are leading me in another direction. I am in a waiting place right now with no clear direction or end of the road. I HATE WAITING AND UNCERTAINTY and it is just tough. The worst part is that I am letting circumstances steal my joy.
Tonight Dori asked me if I liked her – more than once. She has never asked that before. While I am sure she is secure in the knowledge that I love her, I wonder if I am letting circumstances steal some of her joy. Being a mom means wallowing in misery includes dragging down the family to hang out in the muck too. While I am perfectly fine passing this Christmas season having a big ol’ pity party I cannot think of anything worse than dimming the light of my precious Christmas light.
So goodbye Grinch, bring on the carols. Christmas is the time I received my two greatest gifts and I am going to celebrate.