There are so many pitfalls and rough waters I did not expect before parenting. For me , the hardest thing about being a single mom is that burden of decision all falls on me. Should she get a flu shots? Which school should she attend? Is she getting enough fiber in her diet?
Figuring all of this out is made even more difficult with the dawn of the information age. With one Google search thousands of opinions, facts and options bombard you. The only consensus that all the expert seem to come to is that the ONE decision you happen to be making this moment will surely shape your child’s entire life
Awhile, ago I decided to try to stop looking for the right answer on the internet and go with what I know; rely first and foremost on what the Bible is telling me and then seek the advise of those I know to be wise.
Halloween is one of those grey areas for me (does anyone else think it is funny that gray can be spelled two ways, proving by its mere existence that not everything is black and white – sorry ADD moment). Growing up we celebrated it to varying degrees depending a lot on the guest speaker at church the week before. Actually the guest speaker part is not true, the truth is my parents did not like the celebration of Halloween because it the celebration of evil things, BUT the way it is celebrated is fun and who wants to deprive their kids of a bunch of fun. I understand completely because I feel exactly the same way. I hate the witches and vampires and horror movie commercials playing between the scenes of Everyone Love Raymond. I hate the idea of little five-year-old boys dressed as Freddy (really this is the costume the parents were choosing for their kindergartener in the store last year), and, well, if I have to go into adult costume I am afraid my inner prude will make its presence known. BUT even with all of that I love the ideas of kids dressing up cute and even going through the neighborhood for treats.
The first three years I got off easy. The church down the street has a huge carnival. We went with our cousins, cute harmless costumes – Halloween light, all of the fun, none of the scare. This year the boys were not around which meant hooking up with a friend to go trick or treating. It was a lot of fun but there were a couple of scary houses and the thing that bugged me most is when Dori became immune to the scare. A little bit more of the innocence is gone.
Being me of course, I was pondering these things as I headed with Dori over to the carnival after trick or treating- which next year will be our only haunt because she had a great time there even being by herself, and decided of course I had ruined her for life (an almost daily occurrence). Just as I was getting out the ladle for great big heaping spoon of mom guilt I hear from the back seat:
This is the day. This is the day. That the Lord has made. That the Lord has made.
As I joined her in singing she says tells me she can’t stop thinking about that song all day and my heart lightens. Even when I do not make the best decisions for my daughter, God in his grace covers my mistake with the reminder that even Halloween is his.
It is tough this being a single parent but I am not alone. My mistakes will be great but my God is greater. He loves her more and I can trust in Him. I am working with a net, secure in the hand of the Father – I will rejoice and be glad in it.